Magical Challenges
by angel0wonder
Summary: A series of challenges or one-shots ranging from comedy to drama to 'what is this I don't even'. Chapter six- Kyoko tries to teach Sayaka how to ride a motorbike. Fluffy KyoSaya!
1. Magica Musical

"Okay, now I have a transfer student to introduce to you all. Come on in, Akemi-san!"

Homura strode into the classroom to whispered exclamations of "Whoa, she's hot!" and "I'd tap that!"

Madoka gasped in recognition. "No way, it can't be her!"

"Why don't you introduce yourself?" the teacher suggested. Homura raised her fist to her mouth and cleared her throat loudly, just as piano music began to play out of nowhere. She took a deep breath and began to sing in a very dry tone.

"_My name is Homura_ _Akemi, please spell my name correctly,_

_At this point I don't care if I'm crazy._

_I am a time traveler here to save my friend,_

_And every time I fail I always go back again."_

"Um…" Kazuko sweat-dropped behind the still singing transfer student. "Can we save the singing for later?" Homura raised her voice in response to sing over the annoying teacher.

"_Shooting Kyubey and learning to be badass, _

_If you make my Madoka cry I'm going to bust a cap._

_They didn't believe their future so they always bit the dust, _

_So if your hair ain't pink then I don't give a flying fu-_!"

"Thank you for all that unnecessary information, Akemi-san!" the teacher jumped in to interrupt. "Please take a seat."

Madoka flinched when Homura's hawk-like gaze zeroed in on her.

"What's her deal?" Sayaka leaned over to ask her friend. The piano music continued playing in the background.

"_I don't know what to think, this is very strange!_

_Last night I might have seen her while in a dream state_!" Madoka answered in song.

Sayaka gasped. "_There's no way!_"

"_It's the truth!_"

"_You're crazy!_"

"_How dare you!_" The music halted and the two girls paused with it.

"So," Sayaka tilted her head in confusion. "Who is she?"

At the question, the entire class erupted to their feet and the piano started playing again more vigorously than before. They jumped onto their desks and started stomping to the lyrics that came bursting from their lungs.

"_Hooooomuuuuura is a time traveler, she's here to save her friend!_

_And every time she fails she goes right back again!_

_Shooting aliens and learning to be badass,_

_If you make Madoka cry, she's going to beat your ass!_

_No one believed the future, they lost it bit by bit!_

_So if your hair ain't pink then she won't really give sh-!_"

"HEY!" Kazuko yelled at the class angrily. "We're in the middle of class, so please save the singing and dancing for later!" she ordered.

However, just like all of her ex-lover's, the class ignored her. The students jumped down from their desks and began to swirl around Homura's desk in various patterns while talking amongst themselves.

"_So mysterious!"_

"_What long hair!"_

"_She looks so serious!"_

"_What a glare!_"

Homura abruptly stood up from her seat, making everyone around her pause dramatically. "I'm sorry, I don't feel very well. I'll have to go to the nurse's office." She twirled on her feet and started to slowly make her way towards Madoka. Of course, she had to stop periodically for dance breaks.

"_I'm tired of these faces and I'm not that strange!_

_I almost came this close to throwing a grenade,_

_This job is fruitless, I'm working round the clock,_

_But if I succeed I can finally tap Madonkadonk!_" When she sang that last line she thrust her hips forward with a double fist pump while winking at her audience. All the other students quickly mimicked the movement as they mindlessly repeated her words.

"_Madonkadonk! Madonkadonk! If she fails, she can't tap Madonkadonk! _

_She's looking to the future pushing towards her goal,_

_Trying not to get distracted and learning self-control!_"

Homura rapidly pulled a gun out of her shield and shot into the ceiling, making everyone stop singing and start screaming. "Who says I don't have self-control!" she yelled angrily at them.

The class stared at the pair of pink panties dangling innocently from the barrel of the gun in her hand. Her violet eyes followed their gaze and she realized what she was doing and calmly put the gun away as if nothing happened. She cleared her throat and smoothed her skirt before she sat on top of Madoka's desk.

The pink-haired girl was staring at her mouth agape, as was the rest of the class.

"Madoka Kaname, you're the health representative, correct?" she stated in her monotone voice.

Madoka flinched at being addressed by the strange transfer student. "Y-Yes, that's me." she replied nervously.

"Could you show me the way to the infirmary?" Homura asked in a way that wasn't really asking. She started walking away fully expecting Madoka to follow her. The pink-haired girl became flustered and moved to followed her out of the classroom.

"You're going after hearing all that?" Sayaka exclaimed in bafflement.

"_Madonkadonk! Madonkadonk!"_ The class started bellowing when the pair was out of sight.

"_Tomorrow she's going to reset time again!_

_She failed in this timeline so she might as well, _

_Get some in the infirmary where there are lots of beds!"_

Outside the school hidden in a bush somewhere, Kyubey stuck his head out and muttered the words "It begins," ominously.

.P-M.M-M.

"Mami, the Grief Seed is moving! It's going to start right now, hurry!" Kyubey spoke urgently into Mami's mind.

"Okay, I got it. I'll finish you off with a swift attack today!" Mami responded, holding out her hand as the ring on her finger glowed, segueing into her magical girl transformation. Music started playing in the background as the witch's familiars droned out a working tune.

(_Looking for some cheese~,_

_For our master Charlotte who is always so hungry~)_

Mami landed among the familiars in full Puella Magi gear and a huge smile on her face. "_Nothing can stop me now!" _she exclaimed in a beautifully pleasant singing voice. The familiars were somewhat surprised by the intrusion.

_(Hey that girl is yellow like cheese~,_

_Whoa, muskets are popping out of her breasties~) _

Mami used aforementioned muskets popping out of her chest area and the ones that materialized in thin air around her to start shooting the singing familiars, who were hurling themselves at her for no explicable reason other than the fact that they thought they had located cheese.

"_I'm so happy I can crap muskets!_

_I've hid them in strange places to fill the void,_

_Weightless now my joy has skyrocketed,_

_Never felt so free it's like I'm on steroids!" _

Mami sang out her real feelings as she shot countless familiars out of existence and stood on high places in cool poses. The familiars were scattering now, convinced cheese wouldn't be able to shoot back and ready to report this to their mistress.

_(Let's get out of here~,_

_This job sucks, lets drink some beer~)_

The blonde puella magi landed gracefully near Madoka and took the girl's hand. With a friendly tug and smile they ran to where the witch would be.

"_Sometimes I wonder if this is all life has to offer,_" Mami sang in a warm softer voice.

"_But now I smile when I remember my new friends,"_

"_We're here for you now!"_ Madoka sang kindly in answer.

"_I am not alone!"_ Mami proclaimed in exhilaration as they burst onto the scene.

Kyubey and Sayaka were ducking behind a giant doughnut.

"Sorry I'm late." Mami said as she and Madoka joined Sayaka behind the giant doughnut.

"You got here just in time." Sayaka reassured with a nervous grin.

"Watch out, the witch is manifesting!" Kyubey warned. The expressions on the girl's faces shifted to serious as they watched the small witch pop out of a cereal box and settle on a too-high chair for a too-high tea-party.

Mami immediately sprang into action yelling "As if I'm afraid of a too-cute Charlotte plushie!" She knocked Charlotte's chair over, making the tiny witch stumble clumsily off as if it really was merely a plushie.

"_Sorry for ruining your great day,_

_But Madoka's gonna wish for a great big cake!_"

Mami apologized as she swung a rifle like a bat and whacked Charlotte across her barrier. The pink witch hit the opposite wall, where she was immediately assaulted by several gunshots from Mami.

"_Here I go! _

_Let's forgo, _

_All this own,_

'_Cause I'm aglow!_"

Mami sang without a care in the world as Charlotte fluttered to the ground. When the witch landed face down, the Puella Magi was already standing by and calmly shot her in the head. Throwing her used flintlock away, she summoned her golden threads to lift the little witch into the air.

"_Winning~_." Mami commented to herself as Sayaka and Madoka cheered her on from the sidelines. The blonde had a musket in her hands, which morphed into a giant cannon aimed right at an entangled Charlotte.

With a very deep breath Mami sang her finishing move like a big finish to her song.

"_Tiiiirrrooo Fiiiinnaaaalllleeee!_"

The cannon shot Charlotte through the middle with a long ribbon that wrapped around her. As she was squeezed her mouth opened and out shot a huge caterpillar-like thing with big teeth that immediately swung down towards the blonde Puella Magi with a hungry look in its mad eyes.

Unfortunately, Mami was stilling holding that final note to notice the new witch's approach.

"_eeee-_"

**CHOMP **

Madoka gasped. Sayaka gasped. The music Mami had been singing to stumbled to a halt and all that was left was an awkward silence and the occasional crunch from Charlotte's teeth.

"Winning." Kyubey commented to himself.

.P-M.M-M.

Kyoko and Sayaka stood together before a massive pulpit inside the abandoned church. Stained glass surrounded them on all sides, creating an atmosphere of lost beauty and adding to the already thorny tension between the two girls.

"My wish destroyed my family." Kyoko was just finishing up her magical girl origin story. Sayaka shifted apprehensively at the grimness of Kyoko's tale. "I made a wish without considering the circumstances, and it resulted in misfortune for everyone."

Kyoko gripped the apple Sayaka had rejected tightly in her hand. "At that moment I swore I wouldn't use this power for the sake of another again. That I would use this power only for myself." Kyoko's hand went to her chest as she confided in the girl behind her.

Sayaka was staring at the ground uncertainly as she listened attentively to the other's words. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked in trepidation. Kyoko turned around to face the short-haired girl and exhaled through her nose.

"What I'm saying is," She hesitated, then stepped forward toward Sayaka, dropping the sack of apples in her grasp to the ground as her voice filled with conviction.

"_I'm hoping that my words will reach you,_

_Through this invisible barrier,_

_The curse of a magic carrier,_

_Is not something you can just brush off!_

_Forgetting about your wish, _

_So you can get something out of this,_

_To watch you rot away is not something I am partial to!_"

Kyoko started walking around Sayaka as she sang to a steady beat that was laid down.

"_A wish is no idle matter,_

_In the eye of the beholder,_

_For every hope you dream for,_

_Be ready for the resulting shadow._"

Sayaka halted the redhead's pacing with her hand and looked at her with frustration in her eyes. When she spoke, her words were clearer and at a slower pace than Kyoko's.

"_I don't understand,_

_When we first met a battle to the death was right at hand,_

_What gives you the right now to stand here and make this strange demand? _

_You think I made an error wishing for the sake of someone else,_

_But there's no way I'll regret this wish!_"

The red Puella Magi grit her teeth in aggravation, and turned away from the stubborn girl to mutter angrily to herself.

"_I'm hoping that my words will reach you,_

_Through this invisible barrier,_

_The curse of a magic carrier,_

_Is not something you can just brush off!_

_Forgetting about your wish, _

_So you can get something out of this,_

_To watch you rot away is not something I am partial to!_"

Kyoko sang the chorus to the church interior before she turned back to Sayaka, and the music was just the steady heartbeat of a bass drum.

"_I guess you don't have a learning curve,_

"_I'm telling you to live how you deserve,_

_Please don't make my own same mistakes,_

_This business is a zero-sum end game!_"

"_For someone who lives for their own sake,_

_You sure went out of your way worrying._

_This power has amazing potential,_

_We should use it for other people!_" Sayaka responded quickly to Kyoko's logic. The redhead had finally lost patience, and gripped Sayaka's shoulders tightly.

"_Listen to me~!"_ Kyoko pleaded.

"_I refuse to deny my feelings, they weren't lies._" Sayaka responded, growing angry herself, and gripping the arms that held her in place.

"_We're Puella Magi~!_"

"_I don't believe I paid too dearly, I feel I have a duty._"

"_We're already zombies~!"_

"_I'll continue fighting, following my own path._"

"_We have no one else~_."

"_To reward us, to appreciate us, to love us,_

_I KNOW!_"

The two girls gripped in each other's grasps engaged in a dance. Their dance was one of a power struggle, in which each would try to lead the other and met with resistance. Eventually they broke away and stared each other down.

The music raged on, fueling their steps as they challenged each other to a dance off. Kyoko danced with an urban style and Sayaka would respond with a more graceful rendition. However both of their dances ultimately became one and they became more in sync as the music tore through the church.

Their combined steps echoed through the hollow building and they finally ended it face to face. They stood still as they stared into each other's eyes and breathed heavily into each other's faces from the hard dancing.

Kyoko's hand hesitantly reached for Sayaka's face and hovered there. "_This could work,_" she sang softly.

"_How much did those apples cost?_" Sayaka's face became serious as she waited for the answer. Kyoko's eyes widened and her mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. Her hand fell to her side limply.

"You can't answer, can you?" Sayaka sighed, turning away the redhead. She began walking down the stairs to where they had come in. "If I get in your way, you're welcome to try and kill me again. But I won't lose to you, and I won't hold it against you." she stated as she left the building and didn't look back.

Kyoko watched Sayaka leave with angry disbelief.

"_I was hoping that my words would reach you,_

_Through this invisible barrier,_

_The curse of a magic carrier,_

_Is not something you can just brush off._

_Forgetting about your wish, _

_So you can get something out of this,_

_To watch you rot away is something I guess I'll have to do._"

Kyoko recovered an apple from her bag of stolen food and furiously bit into it mercilessly as Sayaka's form gradually disappeared from her sight.

.P-M.M-M.

Madoka was wandering aimlessly through the city after Sayaka had run away from her. Her search brought her to the city park, drawn in by the mesmerizing light of a dancing fountain. She stopped near a bench, sensing a magical presence near her.

"You must blame me too, then?" Kyubey asked from the shadows of a light post.

"If I blame you, will that bring Sayaka back?" Madoka responded tiredly.

"Impossible, it's beyond my power." Kyubey said unblinkingly.

Madoka sat on a public bench, the white magical creature joining her to face the showy fountain with colorful displays of light.

"You told me I could become an amazing magical girl. Is that true?" Madoka asked hesitantly.

"Amazing doesn't begin to describe it. You'd be completely unrivaled, and possibly the strongest in the world." Acoustic instruments dipped in country flavor started playing in the background as Kyubey continued speaking, and the rodent's voice became increasingly deeper as he began to sing.

"_Listen here girl, and listen well,_

_I've quit being Satan's teddy bear_

_Just to come down here and talk to your behind._

_Now I've met many a fine young lass,_

_Two or a dozen or a few million,_

_Who willingly land in my paws ,_

_And eventually become hell spawns. _

_But listen close girl, here's the thing,_

_The universe is running on batteries,_

_You wouldn't happen to know about entropy? _

_But of course, this ain't bout me,_

_This show is all about you, Queen._"

Kyubey paused to rub his tail against his face and scratch at an ear.

"But why me?" Madoka asked quietly, fists resting on her knees and her eyes closed to the attention-seeking fountain.

Kyubey sighed. "I don't know either. Frankly, your hidden potential is an unimaginable hope. I want an explanation as much as you do."

"_As much as I don't really get it,_

_Sitting before me is omnipotent goddess,_

_And I have a feeling my quota will be filled._

_You could do anything you want,_

_Perform miracles or rewrite laws,_

_The strongest Puella Magi there ever was._

_I'm not even jumping the ball,_

_This is Kyubey's business after all,_

_Is there really any reason to stall?_"

"So I can do things even you can't Kyubey?" Madoka asked, her focus entirely on the white creature now. "I can return Sayaka's body back the way it was?"

"That would be no difficult at all." Kyubey answered.

"_Now I'm not even going to take a pause,_

_I have a feeling this girl is in my jaws,_

_The universe will live a little longer now,_

_Should I wait for some applause?_" Kyubey thought to himself as he turned his beady eyes and blank expression to the girl on the verge of making a contract.

"_Listen closely girl; lend me your ear,_

_I'm going to make this very clear,_

_No more beating around the bush,_

_Is this wish worth your soul to you?_"

"If it's for Sayaka's sake, then yes." Madoka relented, turning her body towards Kyubey, who looked as eager as he could possibly get. "I want to become a magical-"

Fifteen holes appeared in Kyubey's body simultaneously, the size and shape of bullets. Kyubey's body fell over, clearly dead and blown to bits. Madoka's eyes widened in shock.

Homura was standing behind her and the murder weapon dropped from her hands. Madoka's head turned quickly at the sound of the gun clattering to the ground and frightened eyes took in Homura's magical girl form.

"Homura, what are you-"

"Only I'M allowed to sing to Madoka!" Homura proclaimed passionately, picking up the remains of Kyubey's body and flinging it into the nearest fountain in a rare fit of rage.

Madoka gaped at her like she was trying to catch flies. "Wait, when do I get to sing?" she asked in confusion.

She then screamed when a live Kyubey popped up next to her as if nothing happened. "You can own the songs 'Madonkadonk', 'Crapping Muskets', 'Watching You Rot', and 'Satan's Teddy Bear' today! Four songs on six collectible CDs!" Kyubey announced randomly.

Homura was on him in an instant, stabbing away with the knife that appeared in her hand. Some alien blood splashed onto Madoka and she started crying. Like always.

THE END


	2. Yandere Mami

When Madoka made the contract with Kyubey, it was like she had made a contract with me as well. To be with me and never leave my side. Almost like… Marriage. I smiled at her and made her promise that to me. Made her say she would be with me forever.

She smiled back with a nod. "You aren't alone anymore, Mami. We'll be a magical girl pair from now on!" Her words filled my heart with the ultimate happiness at the knowledge that I was no longer alone.

I vowed then that I would never let anything get between us.

.-.-.-.

I regretted saving Homura the moment Madoka invited her over for tea at my place. I stared incredulously at Madoka when she suggested we keep in contact with the bespectacled girl. That shy braided girl, sitting at my table, asking us what we did, looking at _my_ Madoka with that adoration in her eyes. Kyubey even said she had the potential to become a magical girl.

Unacceptable.

The lovely smile on my face never left when I concluded that I had to get rid of this Homura girl before she got anymore attached to Madoka.

The answer was a simple solution. Blowing her head off her shoulders with a musket before she even arrived home that night barely put a dent in my schedule. I felt a little guilty after I destroyed her body to the point of being unrecognizable. She had been a weak fragile girl with no friends. But I knew Madoka was weak towards pathetic people like that. So I couldn't afford the competition. I _needed_ to be the only person she thought about.

The world will never even notice Homura Akemi was gone forever!

The blood on me disappeared when I changed out of my magical girl uniform. And I marveled at how easy that had been. And how utterly satisfied I felt.

.-.-.-.

Madoka finished sipping the last of her tea, sighing dreamily as the smooth hot liquid slid down her throat.

"Do you like it?" I asked eagerly, leaning forward over the small table separating the two of us.

Madoka nodded with a smile. "That was delicious, Mami! I'm glad you invited me over." She eagerly went back to her tea.

I flushed happily and my hands fidgeted in my lap. "No, it was the least I could do after you saved me from that Witch back there today. It would have taken my head clean off if you hadn't been there."

It was Madoka's turn to look sheepish. "I didn't really do anything special. I'm sure anyone would have done the same!"

"No! You're special to me, Madoka!" I exclaimed, slapping my palms against the table and leaning over so far Madoka automatically leaned back at the sudden movement. "What you did for me today meant the world to me! I will never forget it, ever!"

"Ah," Madoka's eyes darted to the side in nervous embarrassment. "You're welcome, Mami…" After a few seconds of enduring my heavily insistent gaze on her, I finally broke into my usual calm smile and backed off. Madoka finally inhaled, not having realized she had been holding her breath. She peered curiously at me. I sensed her eyes on me as I daintily stirred and sipped at my own cup of tea as if I didn't just have an outburst. Normally Madoka was very happy to come over to my place, but today she seemed to sense that something was amiss.

She would be right. Today was the day I would make her soul mine and mine alone. I no longer wanted to share Madoka with the world, and I would tell her today. As a sort of confession, if you will. My heart was fluttering in my chest at the notion, but I knew that Madoka would give me her heart today whether it was willingly or not.

The pink haired girl practically jumped to her feet when her phone vibrated in her pocket. "Ah! Please excuse me for a moment." Madoka politely said as she stood up to answer the call, pacing a little away for a semblance of privacy.

When her face was turned, my face darkened. I knew on the other end of that call was her family. Possibly her father or mother, making sure she was all right and coming home for dinner tonight. Taking Madoka away from me like they've been doing every evening for the last few days. It was driving me mad.

_Kyoko_ had had a family. I couldn't help letting my mind revisit that bitter experience. We used to be together; we used to be a team to take down witches together. But Kyoko always went back to her town for her… _family_. Even after I murdered her family, burned her mother and sister and hung her father in the living room where Kyoko was sure to see him, Kyoko had changed. Well, I expected the change, but I thought it would make us closer. Instead, she distanced herself. She never knew it was me who did it, but I tried to comfort her, tried to make her see that everything was better now because _we could be together_. And she tried to leave me all the same.

I remember it clearly. I refused to let her leave. We had a battle. She defeated me embarrassingly easily, bringing me down to my knees holding my side and gasping for air. Kyoko stood in front of me, looking down at me with bitterness and regret, _walking away_…

As if I would ever let her walk away from me!

I called out to her one more time and when she reluctantly turned around my bullet pierced the Soul Gem on her chest before she realized I had drawn a gun on her. The shards of her soul scattered like shattered glass and she collapsed to the ground, a look of dulled disbelief forever frozen on her dead face.

I killed her family so that we could be together indefinitely, but she didn't understand and she still tried to leave me! Never again. I still have her body hidden in a place only I can find. For whenever I was feeling particularly lonely. Of course, I haven't had to snuggle up to Kyoko's cold corpse since I met Madoka.

I have to learn from my mistakes. I vowed that nothing would get between me and Madoka and I will do anything to keep us together. Even sparing her family's lives. But that doesn't mean I can just let Madoka go back to them, can I?

"Alright, Mom. I love you too. Bye." Madoka finished the call, took a deep breath and turned back to face me. She jumped when she found me a few inches away from her face. I suppose I was a touch quiet when I approached her from behind. Whoops.

"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" I smiled apologetically. Madoka removed the hand she had resting over her heart and blinked rapidly.

"Sorry, you just startled me a bit." She tried a smile but she was obviously growing increasingly nervous. I could sense that she was itching to leave and was fishing for an excuse to go home. I'll have to move fast if I never wanted her to leave my side again. "Mami, how about we call it a day? I would like to get home before nightfall since my mother,"

Grasping her hands in both of mine I held them up, cutting her off mid sentence. Madoka was thrown off by this sudden development and looked up at me with wide confused eyes as I leaned my head close to her face.

"Madoka, I want you to think of Me as your home now." I said softly.

"Huh?" Madoka responded unintelligently. I 'tsked'. The one I loved wasn't very quick in the upstairs department, but I still considered her my property. I made a mental not to correct this feeble-minded habit of hers.

"Are we not a pair? Did you not promise me you'll stay by my side as long as we're both magical girls?" My grip on her hands tightened somewhat.

"Um," Madoka glanced at our intertwined fingers. "We're friends, Mami. That will never change. But I consider my other friends and family just as important to me." Her gaze searched mine, trying to gauge what exactly I was thinking.

I admit I was extremely disappointed. Did she not know I loved her more than any of her friends and family combined? If she couldn't perceive it, I had no choice but to demonstrate it to her.

.-.-.-.

"Mami, we need to talk." Sayaka confronted me one day as I was about to go witch hunting late at night behind my apartment building. It annoyed me that I had to sacrifice time with Madoka to indulge Sayaka, but I was the sempai figure, even if Sayaka had chosen not to become a magical girl.

"Of course, Sayaka. What do you want to talk about?"

The tomboy looked uncomfortable in the face of my pleasantness. "Well, you see, it's about Madoka. I'm worried about her. I hardly see her anymore after she made the contract." said the blue haired girl. I inclined my head, encouraging her to continue. "I guess I just wanted to know if she was okay."

"Of course she's okay. Do you not trust me?" I asked with a playful laugh.

"It's not that I don't trust you Mami, but as her best friend I was hoping she could take a break every once in a while..." She paused slightly and looked at me strangely. I wonder why? It's probably because my smile turned icy the moment she mentioned she claimed herself as Madoka's 'best friend'.

"Let me reiterate something with you, Miki." I took a step closer to her so that she would be able to understand me better. "Madoka and I are a team now, protecting the city. I've been putting forth much effort into training her and supporting her while she makes this transition. We've dedicated ourselves to that cause together, and I don't think an outsider like yourself would quite understand." I spoke low and slow so that even Sayaka would be able to comprehend.

"Outsider?" Sayaka repeated, eyebrows lowering in indication that she had taken offence. "What exactly are you getting at, Mami?"

Apparently the poor girl couldn't take a hint. "I am merely suggesting that you leave Madoka to me from now on. Having anyone else around her would be an obstacle to her concentration."

"But she's not even coming to school anymore!" Sayaka raised her voice above me. How rude. "I haven't seen her for days! I'm her friend, I can't just abandon her. You know I wouldn't." Sayaka gave me a pleading look, silently asking me to see her. The girl was right. I knew she wasn't the type to let this go.

I also knew this meant that I had to get rid of her. She was in the way. A distraction to my poor Madoka. Neither of us needed a hindrance like Sayaka in our lives.

Sayaka's eyes widened in surprise when I suddenly changed into my magical girl outfit. "S-So are you going to take me to Madoka?" she asked hesitantly.

I smiled gently at this silly, ignorant girl. "But Madoka is right here with me, Sayaka Miki." I reached into my bag and pulled something out.

Sayaka's eyes widened even further with shock. "Hey, isn't that..!"

I lovingly stroked the muddled pink Soul Gem in my hand, smiling fondly. When I took it, it had been bright and clear. Now darkened clouds swirled beautiful patterns of despair across the surface of the gem. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"Wait, isn't that important?" Sayaka asked anxiously. "And why is it so dark? What's happening to her?" Her tone turned progressively worried the more she stared at the soul gem in my hand.

"Do not worry. I am taking care of Madoka. Her body and her soul." I smiled what I thought was a reassuring smile.

Her blue eyes finally met mine and she flinched because of whatever she saw there. I wonder why? I was being completely genuine. No matter. She was about to die anyway for that 'best friend' comment.

"Where is she?" Sayaka demanded, hardening her gaze and trying to sound tough. "Tell me where Madoka is right now, or I'll-"

"You'll what, exactly?" I interrupted politely, but the force of my tone overpowered hers. My love for Madoka was much stronger, after all. "I said I was taking care of her, did I not?" I put away Madoka's Soul Gem and took a step towards Sayaka. She backed away. "Not that a stupid, common, waste of breath meat bag of a friend like you will be able to understand to what lengths I would go to take care of _my_ Madoka."

"Mami…" Sayaka was obviously shocked by the truth in my words. "What..?" She didn't have time to articulate her expression of dread when yellow ribbons sprung forth from the ground and snagged her by the wrists and ankles. She dropped her bag and yelled in fear as I entangled her in hundreds of thin golden threads and lifted her off the ground to dangle in front of me. The sight of her struggling and the alarm registering on her face when I summoned a large number of muskets ready for me to use sent shivers of pleasure down my spine. She was like a bug trapped helplessly in my web and I was about to feast.

"What are you doing, Mami! What is going on? This isn't funny anymore!" she pleaded in vain, tugging at her bonds. She winced when I tightened the threads enough to cut into her skin. I picked up one of my rifles and held it up to her face in a stone cold grip that didn't waver.

"Am I laughing, Sayaka Miki?" I inquire. The angle of the barrel shifted and a hole appeared on Sayaka's shoulder in a spray of blood. Her cry of pain and terror made me giggle as I dropped the spent musket and picked up another one. When Sayaka finally finished screaming, she clamped her lips shut and stared at me, hatred toward me blossoming like a flame in her eyes. How amusing.

"What have you done to Madoka?" she asked in an unsteady voice, sweat starting to pour down her face. The smile I had on my face dropped and I looked up at my prey with emotionless eyes. Without hesitation I blew another hole in her other shoulder. Then I let the threads supporting her body drop and held her arms over her head so that she was only dangling by her hands, straining her wounded shoulders. The girl screamed and cried, kicking her legs uselessly as I tortured her.

"You're not allowed to say her name anymore." My voice came out as more of snarl than I had intended. I better watch out for that in the future. I glanced behind me. I had about twenty to forty rifles ready to be used behind me. I wondered how many holes I could make in this girl before she died?

The answer was twenty three. Disappointing, but I should have known better than to expect anything from Sayaka Miki.

.-.-.-.

The now extremely dark pink Soul Gem in my hand gleamed briefly as I held it up over Madoka's still body. A moment passed before a breath was rapidly sucked into lungs that hadn't been used all day. Madoka sputtered and coughed on the sudden intake of air as I allowed her body to reanimate itself in the presence of her soul. The soul now in my possession.

"Hello, Madoka. You look beautiful when you wake up after being a lifeless corpse all day."

Taking gasping breaths Madoka eyes looked a little frantic as they landed on me. "Mami? What's," she tried to sit up before noticing the golden ribbons wrapped around her arms and torso, bounding her to the bed she was laying on. "What's going on?" Her voice shook with fear and when she noticed her Soul Gem sitting in my hand she began to tremble like a cornered kitten.

"No, no, no, Madoka." I reprimanded her. "You have no reason to be afraid of me. I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to love you like no one has before." I sat on the edge of the bed the way a mother would a child. Of course, it wasn't the norm to tie you child down to the bed, but my love was different. I had to make her see that.

"I don't understand. What are you going to do to me? Why are you doing this?" Madoka jerked her head away from my hand as I started petting her head and face.

"Madoka, my love," I lowered my voice kindly. "This is for your own good. Believe me; I want nothing more than to see you free and willing to love me as much as I love you. But until you realize that, I'm going to keep you right here. With me." I let my hand trail down her body. I could feel her body quiver under my touch.

"Mami!" Madoka raised her voice urgently. "If you love me, you'll let me go! I want to go _home_!" Tears brimmed her eyes. "This isn't like you. You sound like you're crazy!" The last word came out as a sob. My hand stilled in the midst of fingering the hem of her skirt.

"Crazy?" At the dark tone in my voice Madoka froze up in dread. She seemed to realize that was definitely the wrong thing to say to me. "You think I'm crazy, Madoka?"

The pink haired girl whimpered in fear. "Tell me, Madoka," I was trying to be gentle, but the hand making its way around Madoka's throat had a mind of its own. "Do you not feel safe here? Are you not comforted by my presence at all?"

Madoka shook her head vehemently, tears streaming down her face. My hand tightened slightly on her throat and the younger girl screwed her eyes shut in dread. It took a few seconds, but I finally managed to get control of my wayward hand and removed it from her person. A shuddering breath shook her chest and she opened her eyes filled with hope and fear. That I was going to show mercy, that I was going to let her go.

I sighed deeply and got to my feet. "That's a shame." I said slowly. "I suppose," I brought out both of our Soul Gems and held them together for her to see. "I'll just have to try harder."

Madoka's eyes widened in horror. Our Soul Gems touched and I started pouring all of my feelings for her into her muddled soul. A scream tore itself from Madoka's throat as darkness was pushed from my soul to hers. She seemed to be in pain, but I never felt more glorious in my entire life.

"I'm inside of you, Madoka!" I cried out joyfully over her cries of pain. "Do you feel me? Do you feel me inside you? Can you feel how much I love you, Madoka?" I laughed and laughed as the girl's body convulsed in front of me as she took in everything that I was. My soul has never burned brighter. How could this be wrong? How could she call this crazy when it was so right?

Madoka's screams intensified as I continued violating her to the deepest core of her spirit. Her Soul Gem was so dark it was black but I didn't even care! It felt too good! The glass started cracking and the frame was caving in on itself. Madoka's back arched off the bed, straining against the bonds.

"We'll become one together, Madoka! Our souls will be united forever!" My voice was gleefully breathless. Darkness burst forth from Madoka's Soul Gem and exploded around us, blowing me away with the force of its gale. Madoka's body went limp even when the ribbons holding her disappeared when I hit the opposite wall with the force of a train. Powerful bouts of wind were being lashed out violently against me, keeping me pinned against the wall. I could barely hold my arms in front of my face to protect myself and watch what was happening. The thing that was once Madoka's glittering pink Soul Gem now floated mid air in the room.

A… As a Grief Seed..?

What is this?

What was happening?

.-.-.-.

"Kriemhild Gretchen." said the small white creature sitting atop my shoulder as I stood on the roof of a skyscraper. I was staring at what looked like a massive mountain in the distance veiled by clouds of both natural and magical properties. The mountain was easily three times larger than the building I was standing on and it loomed ominously over the city.

"A… A Witch?" I feared the answer to my own question.

"I'm surprised, really. Madoka Kaname was a magical girl of average strength. I never would have imagined she would have produced such an extraordinary amount of energy!" Kyubey's voice did sound mildly impressed in his odd emotionless way. "She must be one of the strongest Witches to be born in a long time. If no one stops her, she'll encompass the world in a mere few days.

"This can't be happening…" I felt sick to my stomach.

"This is a result of your erratic actions, Mami Tomoe." Kyubey stated, scratching at one of his dangling ears. "You've killed magical girls, innocent people, and two potentials. Frankly, I don't understand your motivations at all. But I'm going to have to thank you." Kyubey jumped off my shoulder to the ground, taking a few steps to get a better look at Madoka's Witch form. "You've helped me meet my quota for this planet. Congratulations, Mami. You've helped save the universe."

I was so taken aback by what he said that a laugh burst forth from my chest. I didn't understand what he was talking about. It was all incomprehensible to me at this point. "The universe? The _universe_? HA!" One of my hands grasped my face and clawed its way down, drawing blood. "If Madoka has turned into a Witch…" My shoulders shook with uncontrollable laughter, laughing harder and harder until I could barely stand. "_Then the whole world has no choice but to die!_"

Kyubey's blank gaze stared at me unblinkingly. Observing. Collecting data. But that's okay. It does not matter. Everything in this world is now irrelevant. Everything in this world will become Madoka's. Madoka's world. I cannot let that happen. I must be the only thing Madoka pays attention to, even in her new form!

Only me! Just Me! And Madoka! Forever!

Using magic I leapt high into the air, bounding suicidally away from my and Madoka's love child. Everything was so clear now! If I didn't want anything to come in between me and Madoka, I should just destroy everything before Madoka could! Yes, yes! It will be perfect! My soul has never been stronger, cleansed by my Goddess herself!

An enormous canon appeared before me, one of an entire legion encompassing the sky summoned by my magic, and I aimed them all at the city I once protected together with Madoka. I must have looked absolutely beautiful in that moment.

"_TIRO FINALE_."

.-.-.-.

Kyubey watched the slaughter from a distance and shrugged. "It's not my problem."


	3. Nightmare's Belly

A/N- Written for the challenge of writing Madoka characters into a past historical time period. Mine is featured in the mid nineteenth century, Atlantic trade routes.

* * *

The cargo of the nineteenth century slave trading ship was jarred awake by the loud obnoxious noise of bells against chains. Madoka Kaname bolted awake and opened her wide terrified eyes that were red from lack of sleep. She scrambled up with difficulty, thinking it was time for the daily roll call to see if any of the girls were missing or dead. But no, this was different and all the girls crowded into the cargo hold of the ship could sense it.

"Rise and shine, ladies! Up on deck, time for a treat!" the sailor that was banging the bell around crowed mockingly.

"This can't be good." Homura said under her breath, pulling her chains along beside Madoka. They had been chained together for weeks now. At the beginning of their trip Homura had been crying non-stop, much like a majority of the other girls. But as time went on Madoka had watched the girl chained next to her become progressively quieter and hardened. Her eyes were now always analyzing everything determinedly, looking for any chance to escape. Madoka herself was so terrified of her kidnappers that she could barely eat or sleep, and she looked unhealthily thin in the drawers and chemise she was kidnapped in.

"They're mustering us?" Sayaka wondered aloud. None of the girls there had been up on deck for a while. They were sailing on trading routes, so the ship couldn't be risked seen doing illegal activities should they be spotted by naval ships. Illegal activities as in taking kidnapped girls overseas to sell them for a high price. "I heard they mustered the crew already, but why us? We haven't arrived yet, have we?" The girl chained to her, Elsa Marie, whimpered at the prospect at having arrived at their dreaded destination.

A blonde head looked worriedly around the group. "Has anyone seen Kyoko?" Mami asked anxiously.

"I haven't seen her since last night." A shy girl named Gertrude piped up. A small girl named Charlotte clung to her waist tightly and hid her face in Gertrude's body.

"Oh no," Mami whispered.

"Hurry it up!" Another sailor stomped down the stairs into the hold, waving a gun at them impatiently. Flinching, the girls hastily made their way towards the opening. The sunlight seemed like a hot knife cutting into their retinas after spending so much time below deck. By the time the huddled groups of chained girls were able to adjust to the brightness they couldn't seem to settle on where to look. They were surrounded by ocean on every side in the most isolated way possible. The main mast loomed over them and it's white sails flapped in the light breeze. The entire crew of the ship was gathered on deck, looking on eagerly as if they'll finally have some entertainment on this long overseas voyage.

"Gentlemen, we have a thief among us." A deep thundering voice addressed them. A large man appeared on deck, dragging a small struggling body by their hair.

The large group of girls cowering on deck gasped. "Kyoko!" The redhead, scrawny and filthy as the rest of them in the blaring sunlight, bared her teeth at the deck in shame at having been caught.

"Getting out of her cuffs, sneaking around the ship, and the _gall_ to steal food from the kitchens." The captain of the ship threw Kyoko's head to the ground, the sound of Kyoko's head cracking against the wood sharp and pronounced.

Sayaka in particular looked fire-breathing mad. "That _idiot_!" she seethed, biting down on her thin wrist to stop her trembling. "I told her we should have worked together! No one listened, why wouldn't anyone listen… She deserves what she gets." True, in the beginning as the ship moved down the American coastline, snatching girls and adding to their ranks as they went, Sayaka had tried to rally them for some kind of rebellion. However, she lacked the charisma of a leader, and nobody seemed to want to take the risk of death against so many men. Kyoko in particular opposed Sayaka's efforts, claiming that there was no way their entire group could escape alive, and knowing she had a better chance of survival if she stuck it out on her own.

Homura had silently agreed with Kyoko. Sneaking off with at least Madoka was a plan with a higher chance of success. What Sayaka had been trying to do meant death for them all.

"Madoka, get behind me." Homura whispered to Madoka. The pink haired girl held her hands to her mouth as tears escaped her eyes as she looked at Kyoko. Homura gently nudged the smaller girl behind her, knowing the sight of what was about to happen would only scar her further.

"Thieving on a ship is a high crime!" The captain proclaimed, picking up Kyoko's head by the hair once more. Kyoko was still conscious, and still struggled vainly against the man's massive grip on her as blood trickled from her scalp. "Let this be a warning to any of you twats who dare challenge the code!" He walked towards the ship railing, Kyoko's heels skidding across the wooden planks with the clear intentions of tossing her body overboard like a ragdoll into the endless ocean.

"W-Wait! It was me! I told her to do it!" Sayaka's trembling voice called out in a furious exclamation. The captain paused in cruel interest.

"Oh?"

Sayaka's knees were knocking together in the torn worker's clothes she was dressed in. Mami grasped her hand, shaking her head desperately.

"Don't be stupid," Homura whispered to the shorthaired girl. "You will accomplish nothing from this. You'll both be punished."

"I helped her escape and told her to get food!" Sayaka ignored their warnings and stubbornly pressed on. Kyoko stared at her in disbelief. Sayaka held out her bony shackled hands as if in offering. "So spare her and throw me off instead!" she demanded.

"Sayaka-chan, please stop!" Madoka pleaded.

"It's okay, Madoka." Sayaka tried for a reassuring smile, but she was beyond terrified. "I can't just watch them kill someone in cold blood. And this way I can get out of this place. I'm okay with that. I'm useless to you all here anyway."

An angry looking girl named Roberta practically shoved Sayaka forward, making her stumble. "Let them both drown! More food for us!" The sailors around them seemed to enjoy this internal discord, laughing and cheering.

Especially the captain. "Very well!" he laughed. His mouth twisted in a cruel smile. "Twenty lashes."

"What?" The blood in Sayaka's face drained to deathly pale in a matter of seconds before a burly sailor grabbed her from behind and disconnected her chains from the group. Some of the girls in the group cried out as she was unceremoniously yanked from them. Sayaka's eyes remained wide and disbelieving as they tied her hands above her on the main mast and cut open her shirt to reveal her back. This was a pirate ship, so there wasn't any formal preparation for the punishment one would normally see on a naval ship. Just the anticipation of punishment from the crew.

A cat-o-nines tail was handed to the captain, who exchanged it for a stunned Kyoko. "I believe the punishment for thieving is three knots." the man commented as he started knotting the thongs of chord.

"Hey, HEY!" Kyoko regained her fight. "She doesn't have anything to do with this!" she protested fiercely. She did not like the notion that she was being defended.

"You'll get your justice soon enough." the sailor holding her laughed. "But first you'll have to watch your friend over there and realize the sin you've committed." Kyoko growled, but she was completely helpless to stop any of the events that were to take place.

Sayaka started to tremble uncontrollably as the captain's ominous pacing behind her alerted her as to what was about to happen. He stepped slowly, tauntingly, back and forth behind. Without warning he brought his hand with the cat-o-nine tails down to lash across Sayaka's naked back. She arched her back and bit down on her lips as the chords bit into her skin.

"Let this be a lesson to the lot of you!" the captain bellowed, bringing his arm down once again. Sayaka whimpered sharply, but maintained her teeth dug into her lips. "You, are, our, property!" He brought his arm down as hard as he could after each word and Sayaka was full out screaming at this point as her skin broke under the aggressive sting of knotted chord.

"Sayakaaaa!" Kyoko screamed, trying to break free, her face scrunching in anguish as that stupid girl from the hold was being tortured in front of her for something she had done.

"Throw that rat overboard!" the captain roared at the sailor holding her before continuing his assault on the defenseless girl. Kyoko was unceremoniously flung over the side of the ship without a second thought. Homura was crushing Madoka's head to her, trying to block out the images and sounds to the best of her ability, horrified at these actions herself.

Mami was staring at the place where they threw Kyoko overboard. Sayaka's screams of pain, the horrified sounds of the girls around her and the goading from the pirates seemed to drown out her own rapid heartbeat. Almost longingly she took a step towards the railing, and then another. No one was paying attention; everyone was focused on the fact that Sayaka had passed out against the mast and was hanging limply from her bindings. Mami could almost smile as she neared the railing. She didn't have to suffer her fate; she could end it all now. If she didn't take this chance, they would suffer a fate worse than death.

"Mami, stop!" Homura finally noticed and yelled in the blonde's direction, but it was too late. Mami made a break for it and jumped over the railing. However, all the girls were chained to her so when she jumped the girl behind her was yanked off her feet and sent hurtling after her as well. The other girls fought to maintain their footing , but they were weak from malnutrition and there were ones who wanted to join Mami, rushing the railing for eternal freedom. The captain stopped the flogging to yell at the crew to get their cargo back aboard their ship before they lost profit. The sailors jumped to help haul the fallen girls back up and minor chaos broke out briefly.

A brief moment was all Homura needed. Her wrists were small and her shackles were weak. She only had to break one of the bones in her hand to slip free. She saw her opportunity and she took it, slipping her arms free and cutting through the bodies like a shark on a scent. The captain wasn't keeping too close an eye on the gun by his side.

"Nobody move, or your captain is dead!" Homura declared as loudly as she could as she pointed a flintlock pistol directly at the vile man's head. The crowd froze and stared, but she only had their surprise for a moment. Homura heard a click from behind her head and stiffened. One of the sailors had his own gun and he pointed it at Homura's back.

"Give up girl, there is no salvation where you're going." the captain smiled unkindly at her. Homura grit her teeth. The gun in her hand was her last hope, it was her last fight. How could she possibly ever let it go? Suddenly the man who had been holding a pistol to her head dropped the weapon and held his hands up.

"Don't _touch_ Homura." Madoka said in a voice that was unlike her as she pressed the tip of the man's own sword against his spine.

"None of you sons of bitches move!" another voice yelled over them. Heads swiveled to look at Kyoko, dripping wet from an unpleasant swim, helming the gun that was mounted on the main deck and pointing it at them. Hope was blossoming in the group of girls. Could they possibly get themselves out of the situation? "Drop your weapons! All of them!" Kyoko demanded, barring her teeth like a vengeful spirit. Hesitantly the crew removed their guns and cutlasses from their waists and dropped them to the floor.

Homura couldn't help smiling victoriously at a now faltering captain. "There is no salvation for you anywhere." Homura stated in a low voice before she pulled the trigger and the man's blood splashed onto her face. She didn't care. If he was gone they had less of a chance of being subdued. The trigger seemed to make something snap inside the girls present. Picking up the weapons the men had dropped, they viciously attacked their kidnappers, holders and torturers without a hint of mercy. The men had been unprepared for the blood thirst and ferociousness with which they attacked.

In the chaos Kyoko jumped down from her gun platform and ran to a limp Sayaka. She untied the ropes binding her wrists and let Sayaka fall into her arms. She tried to hold her as gingerly as she could, trying not to worsen the bleeding wounds on Sayaka's back. Blue eyes fluttered open and a groan escaped Sayaka as she regained consciousness. When she noticed Kyoko holding her she appeared confused. "Did we die together?" was her hoarse question.

"You're such an idiot." Kyoko said, though her voice trembled and tears of relief threatened her pride.

Madoka didn't know it was possible to feel so much horror in a lifetime. From being snatched from her own bed along with her childhood friend Homura, to being cast away into the darkness of the ship's belly as if she had been eaten by a nightmare itself. Now watching the girls she had been chained to for weeks and had come to know slaughter these men as if they were possessed by witches or demons. She didn't even recognize Homura anymore, staring soullessly around her, the keys to their chains dangling from her fingertips which she had taken from the captain's purse.

"Homura..?" Madoka asked hesitantly, almost afraid of an answer. Homura turned to her, a smile on her blood-stained face.

"We did it, Madoka. The ship is ours. We're free."

That was the beginning of the legendary Walpurgisnacht Pirates. Stories portrayed them to be a band of merciless women who roamed the seas tearing men apart. They were called Witches by many, and the most feared of all was their captain, Homura Akemi.

To Madoka, the nightmare wasn't over yet. It was never over.


	4. Fried Chicken

A/N- This isn't part of a challenge! It's just something stupid I thought up on my own. Also, it seems I like to torture Sayaka XD

* * *

Sayaka realized something was amiss the moment she stepped onto the city bus. Thing was, she couldn't put her finger on what it was. She did a mental inventory of all the things she'll need for the summer sports camp she was on her way to. It seemed like she had all her bags and personal paraphernalia. So what was her mind nagging her about?

She found a window seat and settled down. The bus doors closed and she took out her music player to occupy her mind for the trip. However, before she could place the buds in her ear, she caught something red out of the corner of her eye. Kyoko was outside on the sidewalk grinning at her. Then the redhead waved at her.

Sayaka was dumbfounded for a moment. Did Kyoko actually come out here to see her off? Sayaka was touched and waved back as the bus started pulling away from the curb. However, Kyoko quickly whipped something out of her pocket and held it over her head with a huge grin on her face. Sayaka squinted, trying to figure what it was Kyoko was showing her. Whatever it was, it was round, about the size of her palm, and glittering blue…

"AH!" Sayaka held her left hand up to her face. Her magical girl ring was missing! And the bus was pulling away! Sayaka hurriedly forced the window of the bus open and leaned out as far as she could. "Kyoko, you traitor! GIVE ME MY SOUL BACK!" The other occupants of the bus glanced at the crazy girl in concern.

"Har har! _SUCKER!_" Kyoko yelled back, pocketing Sayaka's soul gem and running off.

"Come back! Get back here you bi-" Sayaka's eyes suddenly became lifeless and her body slumped uselessly, half-dangling out of the moving bus' window.

.~.~.~.

"_Passengers were shocked when a fellow bus passenger turned up dead after boarding. Young Sayaka Miki, innocently on her way for a summer camp, reportedly boarded the bus at ten in the morning. Witnesses say she was looking out the window for two hours before she unexpectedly hurled herself out and her body was dragged under the wheels, killing her and shocking the people on board..."_

Homura took a bite out of a juicy breast as she dully watched the news report. She glanced at Kyoko, sitting on the couch next to her illuminated by the TV light, nibbling on a tender thigh.

"Kyoko," Homura's cool voice spoke just above the drone of the news anchor.

"Hm?" Kyoko grunted around a mouthful thigh, eyes on the screen.

"Maybe you went a little too far."

A brief silence as they listened to the new reporter segue into bullies in school.

"Yeah." Kyoko said with a sigh. She licked her lips and looked sidelong at Homura. "I'll get her Soul Gem back to her before any funeral arrangements can be made. But I want your breasts first."

"You had the breasts last time." Homura stated with a barely perceptible narrowing of her eyes.

"Tch, fine." Kyoko grumbled, digging through the Family-Size bucket of fried chicken that sat between them.

"Are you prepared for the consequences of your little stunt?" Homura asked, settling down further in her seat now that her breasts wouldn't be touched by Kyoko's wandering hands or mouth. "She'll probably try to get you back."

"Hm!" Kyoko snorted and had a superior look on her face. "I've already taken care of it." Kyoko presented Homura with a hunk of metal in her hand. Homura raised her brow in question. "When I figured out our Soul Gems can be used against us, I decided to give mine some extra protection!"

Homura fought back any emotion on her face as she stared at the hunk of metal in Kyoko's hands. "And this is what you came up with?" her tone of voice came out more deadpan than she had intended.

"Yep. I welded my Soul Gem shut in steel." Homura took an extra large bite of chicken breast to cover up her expression. Kyoko looked so proud of herself for thinking this up. "Now it is unbreakable! I will become undefeatable! HAHAHA!" Kyoko threw her head back and laughed like a victorious mad scientist.

Contrary to what others believed, Homura did not enjoy being the bearer of bad news. "But then, how will you cleanse your Soul Gem?" Homura finally asked the obvious question. The obnoxious laugh ceased abruptly. Kyoko grew silent and the only sounds in the large space were the TV airing one of those crazy Japanese commercials.

Kyoko let the heavy hunk of metal that contained her soul fall from her palm and onto the floor with a heavy _clunk_. "I want your breasts, Homura." Kyoko muttered like a little kid resigning to a punishment but wanting to compromise first. The stoic magical girl next to her sighed and gave Kyoko what she thought she wanted.

"Not those breasts!"

"Oh."

Sayaka's Soul Gem was left forgotten in the family-sized bucket of fried chicken for the rest of the night.


	5. Frilly Bits

For the 'Awkward Moment' Challenge!

* * *

"_Madoka, I love you. I always have."_

"_Oh, Homura!"_

"_Please, let me feel your frilly bits!"_

"_Do whatever you want with my frilly bits, Homura-chan! They only belong to you!"_

"_I will be gentle…"_

"_Ah! Ahn~" _

"_Your dress is so fluffy, Madoka!"_

The door burst open unexpectedly. "Goddamn! What the hell are you doing?" Kyoko finally had to ask after listening to Homura from behind closed doors for the last ten minutes. As soon as she burst through the door, Homura made a dive with her body to hurriedly shove the dolls she had been playing with out of sight like a criminal trying to hide evidence. Kyoko stood over the dark magical girl, aghast.

"What is it? What do you want now?" Homura asked clumsily, uncharacteristically flustered as she tried to 'subtly' shove her dolls under the rug.

The red magical girl blinked in her confusion. She had just been strolling by when she heard Homura's voice and stopped to listen. She never imagined she would catch the usually stoic girl so red-handed in something so embarrassing! "Were you just doing what I think you were doing?" Kyoko stammered as she stared at the little plastic legs sticking out from the rug at odd angles.

"If you're implying I was do anything but forming a strategy, then you are delusional." Homura regained some of her cool as she lied to Kyoko's face calmly.

"You were totally just playing with dolls."

"Just your imagination."

"You said you wanted to feel Madoka's frilly bits."

"What an inappropriate thing to say."

"… ha," A broad evil grin slid onto Kyoko's face. "Ahahaha! This is actually pretty fu-" A live grenade introduced itself to Kyoko's face. "UCK!"

**BOOM**

Homura used the blast to hide all evidence and silence all witnesses.

.-.-.-.

"_Homura-chan, I love you. I always have."_

"_Madoka..! I can't contain this all-consuming passion anymore! Let's do it!"_

"_Yes, lets! But let's also invite Mami-san and her amazing breasties, Sayaka-chan for her enthusiasm and giving nature, and Kyoko for some animal roughness!"_

"_If-if you say so. Anything for you, Madoka!"_

"_You're such a good girl, Homura-chan! Maybe we'll also invite Kyubey for some extra spice-"_

"Er, Madoka? What are you doing?"

Madoka jumped like a kangaroo on crack and screamed at the top of her lungs when she spotted Sayaka standing awkwardly by the door. "WHYYYY DIDN'T YOU KNOOOOOCK!" Madoka screeched in mortification, throwing her naked dolls out the nearest window and preparing to follow them.

"I don't know! I'm sorry?" Sayaka looked flabbergasted and embarrassed that she had walked in on Madoka while she had been 'role playing' with her dolls. She didn't know what to think of Madoka including her and Mami and Kyoko in that little scenario! But mostly, she had to ask, "Um, what was that last bit about Kyubey..?"

"Mother_fucker_!" Madoka dived head-first out the window, smashing the glass like a pro action hero after delivering that out of character remark.

"This is the third floor!" Sayaka yelled after she got over the shock of Madoka using that word. She needn't have worried since Madoka was already half-way across the neighborhood.

Kyubey watched her sprint into the setting sun from the hedges and shook his head. "I don't think _any_ species understood what just happened." he sighed.


	6. Bike Lessons

A/N- Fluffy KyoSaya one-shot, since there isn't enough of it in my other story at the moment!

* * *

"What do you think?" Kyoko excitedly exclaimed as she motioned to a raggedy red motorbike sitting innocently on the curb. Sayaka looked skeptical.

"I think you're crazy and that I'll never ride that." she deadpanned. She hadn't been sure what to think when Kyoko jumped her on the street and dragged her off to 'show her something cool'. She shoud've known it was going to be something ridiculous.

Kyoko huffed and patted the seat of the bike. "C'mon, I stole this just so you could live a little."

"Is that supposed to convince me?" Sayaka said incredulously.

Kyoko pouted. "... Uhhh, Yeah?"

"No." Sayaka stated sternly.

Kyoko pouted and straddled the bike by herself. "Suit yourself. I bet Homerun wouldn't mind taking this puppy out for a spin."

Sayaka grit her teeth in annoyance at the mention of Homura. "Why do you think Homura will go along with you?"

Kyoko shrugged. "She may seem up tight, but I bet she actually has a bit of a wild side to her." Kyoko smirked in Sayaka's direction. "Unlike your tight ass."

"Stop talking about my ass." Sayaka grumbled. "I still don't approve of this."

"I'll let you try it~" Kyoko said slyly. Sayaka actually froze up at the proposal. Kyoko smirked. She knew she had the blunette. The other girl couldn't fool her; Kyoko knew Sayaka had been eyeing those motorcycle magazines."I bet you'll like it~"

This was actually getting to Sayaka, who considered the motorbike with genuine curiosity. "... No." her voice wavered slightly, but she was still able to hold off temptation!

Kyoko still had an ace up her sleeve! "You know," she purred. "I didn't actually steal it..."

Kyoko was surprised with the speed Sayaka used to nearly shove her off the bike. "Hey, now you're trying to jack my shit!" she protested with a laugh.

Sayaka looked at her sheepishly. "Well, if you didn't actually steal it, then it's okay for me to try it, right?" she turned big blue eyes to Kyoko, who nearly melted with the adorable look.

"Well, first you actually gotta learn to drive it, since I don't want you to kill yourself!"

Sayaka didn't look too thrilled with the prospect of having Kyoko teach her anything, but the thought of riding a motorcycle was too tempting. She nodded compliantly.

Kyoko thought 'this is going better than expected!' as she gleefully guided Sayaka's hips to sit astride the bike in front of her. The bike sank slightly with the extra weight, and Sayaka placed her hands on the handle bars. Smirking, Kyoko reached her arms around the blunette's torso and placed her hands atop Sayaka's.

"First you gotta turn this puppy on." Kyoko said, making sure to speak low into Sayaka's ear. She turned a key and the engine roared to life.

Sayaka was slightly startled by the softness of Kyoko's breath on her ear and the suddenness of the engine coming to life under her. The bike vibrated under them and her grip on the handle bars tightened reflexively.

"Shouldn't we be wearing helmets for this?" Sayaka asked a bit nervously. Kyoko was gonna reply with something along the lines of 'your head is hard enough already' but decided she shouldn't push her luck since she got Sayaka on the bike in the first place.

She happened to have a helmet already strapped to the bike seat so she handed it to Sayaka, who smiled back at her gratefully before putting the helmet on her head and fastening the straps under her chin.

Kyoko resumed her hold on the other girl's hands over the handle bars. "Okay!" she had to speak a little louder now that the engine was on. "Let's start with the basics. On the left side of the bike you got the clutch and the gears." Kyoko's fingers tapped Sayaka's left hand where she was holding the clutch in place. With her left foot she changed the gear on the bike to neutral. "On the right side of the bike, you got the accelerator and the brakes. You use the brake like this," Kyoko demonstrated with her right leg.

"Yeah, that's great and everything, but how do I _go_?" Sayaka asked impatiently. Kyoko rolled her eyes at her.

"Well, to go forward you just pull the accelerator towards you while slowly releasing the clutch-"

"You mean, like this?" Sayaka said before the bike shot forward like a galloping horse, surprised shrieks leaving the both of them. She had obviously pulled the accelerator too suddenly while releasing the clutch altogether, and the force was so sudden that Kyoko flew off the back of the bike and Sayaka shot forward into an impressive wheelie.

Thankfully, somehow Sayaka managed to come to a screeching halt after a few wobbly yards. Kyoko scrambled up and ran after her hollering. "Sayaka! Are you okay?"

Sayaka's grip on the bike was white and she looked at Kyoko with a spooked gaze. "Yeah, just... Hahaha!" she laughed breathlessly. "That was, I don't even..." She looked suddenly concerned when she realized Kyoko wasn't on the bike with her. "Oh my god, did you..? Are you okay?"

Kyoko waved her off. "Yeah, I'm fine." she laughed shakily, relieved that nothing bad had befallen Sayaka. "I guess the one who should have been wearing the helmet was me!"

Sayaka managed to laugh along, despite her concern. The absurdity of the situation was contagious, after all. She was about to take the helmet off her head when Kyoko motioned for her to keep it on.

"Let me show you how to really ride this thing." Kyoko offered. "I mean, if you're up for it?" she suddenly looked less confident since Sayaka might not want to try riding it anymore. Luckily, Sayaka seemed compliant.

"I should probably leave the driving to the professionals from now on." Sayaka laughed off her previous mistake a little nervously and got off the bike. Kyoko smiled cockily and straddled the bike with a practiced motion.

"Whoever said I was a pro?" Kyoko asked cheekily. Sayaka rolled her eyes and got on the bike behind her. Kyoko was surprised when Sayaka unhesitantly wrapped her arms around her torso and pressed into her back.

"I trust you." Sayaka said simply, a little embarrassed but sincere. Blood rushed Kyoko's face and she found herself at a sudden loss for words. But that was okay, because words weren't really necessary now. "Shut up and drive." Sayaka snapped in playful irritation.

Kyoko smiled and complied. She turned the right handle bar towards her far more gently than Sayaka had done and they peeled smoothly into the street. Sayaka gripped Kyoko's waist tighter at the movement, scared of falling like Kyoko had.

But Kyoko would never let Sayaka fall off and gradually picked up speed, the engine whirring loudly as they went. Kyoko couldn't help making a smartass comment. "Can you feel it Sayaka? Can you _feel _the _throb_ of the _engine_?" she yelled over the wind.

"Uh, yeah, I guess?" Sayaka replied, not really knowing why Kyoko would ask something like that.

"How does it feel to have so much power between your legs?" Kyoko couldn't help laughing. Sayaka narrowed her eyes, suspecting where Kyoko was going with this and not appreciating it.

"Oh yeah, this is even better than when you're between my legs!" Sayaka grinned despite being mortified by her own comment. Kyoko was so shocked they nearly swerved off the road.

"Woman, you trying to kill us?" Kyoko yelled, beyond flustered by what Sayaka just said. Sayaka hid her laughing face in Kyoko's shoulder. Kyoko was blushing so hard she thought the red would flood her vision and blind her, so she had to endure.

They were going pretty fast by now, and both relaxed into the natural motions of the ride. When they turned Kyoko hugged the curb of the road and they both leaned into it. Sayaka was a natural at it and handled the curves perfectly.

Kyoko's flame colored hair was so wild in the wind that Sayaka had to hold it away from her face, but she didn't mind it too much. Hugging Kyoko from behind and placing her chin on the redhead's shoulder she could see the content smile on Kyoko's face as she kept her eyes on the road. It was true, against all odds she trusted this girl. She wouldn't have gotten on the bike with anyone else.

"Oi," Kyoko said when Sayaka suddenly snuggled her face into Kyoko's neck. Her blush renewed itself when Sayaka pressed a kiss to her neck. "Oi..." Kyoko said again in a quieter voice, not really in protest, but just to voice something to the situation. "I'm trying to drive here..."

"I know." Sayaka smiled in silly contentment. Riding the back and holding onto Kyoko as they effortlessly weaved through the road was having an effect on her. Like total freedom was at her fingertips and she liked that idea.

Not being able to help it, Sayaka's hands lowered themselves down Kyoko's torso, fingering the edge of the jacket the redhead was wearing. "Kyoko, did you really not steal this bike?" she asked a little too sweetly. Kyoko tensed up slight in front of her.

"I found it..." Kyoko insisted, not sure whether to be mortified by this line of questioning or distracted by the cold fingers now tracing her belly button.

"Did you really?" Sayaka asked so low that Kyoko barely heard it, so Sayaka had to breath it into Kyoko's ear. "Did you really just find this bike?"

Kyoko shivered, Sayaka's hands were now under jacket and rubbing her stomach. "Whatever happened to safety first?" she murmured, though she didn't sound like she terribly minded. Being on the road and driving, she was completely at Sayaka's mercy.

"Hmmm, you're too suspicious." Sayaka smirked, letting her hands wander over Kyoko's ribcage and not going further up. To add to her form of torture she started to rub her lips against Kyoko's neck without really kissing the skin. Kyoko groaned and gripped the bars.

"I'm totally not suspicious..." Kyoko shuddered stubbornly. Sayaka grinned against the skin of her neck.

"Answer my question, Kyoko." Sayaka's hands stilled on Kyoko's body and she sounded more serious this time around. Kyoko glanced back at her briefly, pursing her lips together reluctantly.

"I... got it from Madoka..." Kyoko finally admitted with much reluctance. Sayaka looked surprised, then doubtful. "It's true!" Kyoko shouted insistently, a hint of indignance on her face. "This is Madoka's old bike! She said that she got a new one so she didn't need this one anymore!"

"... You're telling me Madoka is a _biker_?" Sayaka exclaimed incredulously.

"I didn't see that one coming either, but that girl's got some damn hidden spunk. It's kind of scary, actually." Kyoko laughed.

Sayaka seemed satisfied by Kyoko's honest answer and went back to hugging Kyoko tightly from behind, contemplating the idea of Madoka on the back of a Harley Davidson with a leather jacket and chains. She giggled to herself at the notion.

Kyoko slowed down as they came to a red light. Sayaka loosed her grip on Kyoko as they came to a resting stop. Kyoko grinned evilly and turned around in her seat. "Now for some payback!"

Sayaka didn't have time to articulate an exclamation of surprise when Kyoko grabbed her face and pulled her in for a hungry kiss. But she was only shocked for a moment before she kissed Kyoko back feverishly. It wasn't until a few cars behind them honked that they realized that the light had been green for quite some time.

Kyoko was still gazing hungrily at Sayaka, who looked embarrassed from the traffic they were causing. "Kyoko, the light's green..." Kyoko blinked slowly as Sayaka's words registered in her now foggy mind.

"Uh..." she turned around in her seat and noticed the green light. "Oh!" With a quick jerk she had the bike running even faster than before, taking a moment to flip off the cars behind them as an afterthought. Sayaka wooted at the speed with which Kyoko was driving them home.

Knowing Kyoko's line of thinking probably led to some 'vigorous riding' activity indoors, Sayaka playfully groped Kyoko's boob, making the redhead yelp in a most adorable way.

"Do you not want us to make it home alive?" Kyoko growled under Sayaka's assault, pushing the bike as fast as she dared.

"Hey, Kyoko!" Sayaka shouted gleefully.

"What?" Kyoko growled, focusing on the road and the promises of what would happen when they were alone.

Sayaka's let her hands wander up under Kyoko's jacket and groped both her breasts quite daringly. "I love you!"

Kyoko blew past three red lights after that on their way home.

Meanwhile, Madoka wanted to show off her new big black motorcycle to Homura. "So, what do you think?" the bubbly pinkette asked excitedly, eager to show off the sleek black machine. Homura's gaze was flat she stared at the powerful machine. AND SHE WAS AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.

THE END


End file.
